addds

Saturday, December 31, 2005

i had a nice dream. in which a scenario which i hope will happen. but i know it's never gonna happen. NEVER! it's so not gonna happen. i'm sad. nah, sad's not the word. i yearn for ur coming back. but never is it gonna happen.

anguish overwhelmed mi. overcomed mi. overtook mi. u failed. but i failed terribly.

i was so prepared to go out until the rain came.

i hate you!

the bursary's here. guess i'd have to take it alone this year. no more moms, no more dads.

last year this day. i was wif him n gang. at esplanade, den to semb near raymond's house. they left after drinkin. we went 588. it was boring. but i got a choc from his fren. i'm relieved i didnt take any photos wif him. lucky. blahs.

i'm paranoid i guess. such stupid things i do. such childish things. tryin to mske him notice care for mi. but yea, it's dumb. everytime things, plans screw up at the very last moment. maybe we werent meant to be. i wasnt lydat in the past i hope. but well, ppl change. so damn lot things happen this year. too much to handle. simply too much.

i hear ppl's toking downstairs. screw these ppl. cant u juz tok softly.

i wanna sleep. can i juz sleep forever? duhs.

it's dumb. wadeva i'm doing now is dumb. i mean who would be so free to interfere with other ppl's life? i'm gonna change my blog add again. soon.

every song i put represents every phase of my life. n ya, i noe tat's how u feel(verse 1). but i wun change. so wun u. maybe we aint compatible right from the start. so please dun apologise to mi for a wrong u didnt do. coz i'm simply the one to be blamed. not u. i dunno where i stand in ur life. but guess i'm juz someone unimportant. so i've simply no right to give u any cold shoulder, vent my anger on u. i'm in a dilemma. but i juz cant care anymore. i cant take it anymore. i juz cant. so juz let go. there's so many better girls out there. maybe u'll find someone better. u will find someone better. u will. maybe someone who stays near u. someone who aint so childish. someone who aint so unreasonable. someone who aint so demandin n mean.

happy 2006. but i'm not happy.

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